


Things the Nations do.

by Luna96



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 12:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18094355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna96/pseuds/Luna96
Summary: Just a collection of silly oneshots on what the Nations do. Characters will be added to tags as they are mentioned, and ships vary from chapter to chapter.





	1. Chapter 1

1\. Canada. 

"Matthew, or, of course, Canada, tends to wear casual clothes around the office. Of course, we can't stop him, because he's Canada, and he normally at least wears patriotic clothes, so pay his casual style no mind." -Canada's previous boss.

_______

"Good morning, sir!" Canada said cheerily as he pushed open the office door.

Canada's boss looked at his nation's clothes. Sneakers, sweatpants and a Team Canada pullover sweater. Comparing this to his own outfit, a suit, complete with a tie and dress shoes, there was quite a large difference.

"Canada, you realize this is a professional establishment? You should not be wearing something so casual here..." His boss mumbled.

Canada just looked at him with a blank look, "Well, ouais, but it's technically MY professional establishment. So, I can dress how I want."

"I am the prime minister of Canada."

"I AM Canada."

The two engaged in a small staring contest as Canada pulled his hood off and stuffed his hands into his pocket, blond hair falling around his shoulders.

"This building is technically part of me. So, I do what I want. Rest assured, if I NEED do dress up all fancy like, I will." Canada told his boss, looking directly into his eyes.

Canada's boss just sighed, "Fine." He said, slightly irritated by his nation's antics. Oh well. At least he didn't have America. Or Italy. Or anyone. He was one of the lucky ones.


	2. 2. England

"England practices magic. I'd recommend you do not get in his way when he is doing so. He will curse you. I know from experience." -England's previous boss.

_________

 

England's boss pushed open the door to his nation's room in the office. "Arthur! What the bloody hell are you—"

He took one look at England and mentally sighed. "Not this again..." He thought

England turned around, a slightly irritated look in his eyes, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm practicing magic!" He replied.

Arthur's boss looked around the room. It was dark, with a few candles lighting the room. What looked like some kind of summoning circle was drawn on the ground in chalk, and Arthur himself had a book in one hand and a wand in the other, with a long robe covering his body.

"Arthur, you know magic isn't real, right?" England's boss asked.

England didn't like that. "Oh, really? And how can I prove to you that it's real?"

England's boss took that as a challenge. "Well, if you insist on proving it, summon something."

Arthur smirked, before turning back to the circle. "Very well." He said, before flicking the wand forward and beginning a chant.

After a few moments of just chanting, the circle began to glow.

And Russia came out of the ground.

"You called?"

England drew back a bit, before shouting, "NOT YOU!" And shoving Russia back into the ground, muttering something about Russia being a wanker.

Once Russia was gone, England spoke once again.

"There. Is that proof enough?"


	3. 3. Iceland

3\. Hong Kong.

"Hong Kong disappears often. In the event of him vanishing randomly, call Iceland or his boss. He is likely with them. If he is not, call Leon directly." Hong Kong's previous boss.

______

"Where are you?" Hong Kong's boss asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"...Reykjavik."

Leon's boss sighed, "...And why are you in Reykjavik?"

"To see Iceland? I thought that was obvious?"

Hong Kong could hear his boss' facepalm through the phone.

"You didn't tell your boss you were visiting me?" Iceland asked in the background.

"No, I never tell him." Hong Kong mumbled, "Give me a minute, Icey."

Leon's boss started again, "You have to tell me when you fly across the world. You can't just up and leave!"

"I don't have to tell you anything. It's my life."

At this point, Hong Kong's boss just hung up.


	4. 4. Iceland

4\. Iceland. 

"Do. Not. Touch. Iceland's. Licorice. You will die." -Iceland's previous boss.  
_______

Iceland slammed open the door to the office aggressively, causing multiple workers to jump slightly.

"E-Emil? What's th—" One of the workers began, but was interrupted by the angry nation.

"Who. Took. My. Licorice?" Said nation asked in a growl, causing several more workers to look at him.

"Emil, please calm down. It's only—" 

This time, Iceland's Puffin interrupted.

"Who took the damn licorice? I'll make you sorry!" The Puffin growled, landing on Iceland's shoulder.

Denmark, who was visiting for the week, threw the lost bag of candy at Iceland, who caught it with a surprised glare.

"Den-Matthias?" Iceland asked, correcting himself after realizing the workers didn't know nation people existed.

"Sorry, Icey. I just wanted to see how you would reac—"

Denmark received a book violently thrown at his face.


	5. 5. America

5\. America. 

"America does many... Stupid things. Please don't let him do said stupid things." -England.

_______

"Alfred, get out of the tank."

"You're not my dad."

"Alfred, get out of the tank now."

"I am Alfred F. Jones and you can't tell me what to do."

"Alfred."

"I'm literally in a tank and you're not."

America and one of his managers, John, were supposed to be going to the airport to get to the world meeting, but America had decided it was a good idea to get into a old tank on display. Thankfully, the area they were in was relatively empty, with no windows into the airport.

"Alfred, we need to get to the meeting."

Alfred checked his watch, "We have a hour until the plane leaves."

"Get out of the tank."

"No."

"Alfred."

"You're not my boss."

John pulled his cellphone out of a pocket, "No, but I can call your boss."

"I don't care. I'm in a tank, and you're not."

John unlocked the phone and pulled up the contact marked "Boss", his finger hovering the call button.

Alfred jumped, "Okayokayokay I am getting out of the tank." He exclaimed quickly, and climbed out of the tank. 

Once Alfred was out of the tank, the duo entered the airport.

Now, there was plenty of people. John looked around at the people, before looking back to where Alfred was.

Was. He wasn't any more.

Shit.


	6. 7. Several Nations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one's a songfic. It's "There! Right there!" From legally blonde. I saw a Hetalia animation of this, and I immediately knew I had to write it. Enjoy!
> 
> For context in this one, Germany and Italy are together, but no-one knows besides Prussia, and of course, Germany and Italy themselves.

7\. Several nations. 

"They're all idiots. If Germany is not present, any and all world meetings will go to shit. And sometimes even when Germany's there. Sometimes they yell and annoy Liechtenstein. That's when I come in with a gun and threaten them." -Switzerland

_________

The nations were in a world meeting. It hadn't started just yet, but it would soon. However, America and Prussia had other plans. They had a plan to crash the meeting by... Teasing, making fun of, joking around with, whatever you wanted to call it, Germany.

The plan was that America and Prussia were going to sing "There! Right there!" in reference to Ludwig, and hoped that at least a few others would pitch in, such as France, Romano, Denmark, and of course, Italy.

Prussia gave America the signal, and America began.

He pointed at Germany and shouted out, "There! Right There! Look at that tan, well tinted skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh Please he's gay, totally gay!"

Germany looked very confused. By this point, some of the other nations were smirking, already knowing what was happening.

Prussia started his part, "I'm not about to celebrate. Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay. " He sang, walking over to Germany and leaning on the table beside him.

Now, France, Denmark, Hungary and Belgium pitched in, knowing what was happening.

"That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to assume, that a man who wears perfume, is automatically radically fey?"

Germany now seemed even more confused, if that was even possible, barely knowing what was happening. Prussia whispered something in Italy's ear, and Italy smirked, nodding excitedly. As Belgium sang the next line, "But look at his coiffed and crispy locks."

England now joined in, "Look at his silk translucent socks."

"There's the eternal paradox." America chimed.

France pitched in, "Look what we're seeing."

"What are we seeing?" Prussia asked.

"Is he gay?" France began.

America looked at him, "Of course he's gay!"

"Or European." France finished.

The whole table of nations collectively said, "Ohhhhhh..." Knowing exactly what was going on. Except for Germany, who was now both flustered AND confused.

The group from before continued, along with China, Finland, Austria, Hong Kong and Australia.

"Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European?"

Everyone looked at Austria jokingly, who exclaimed, "Well hey, don't look at me!"

China sang the next line, surprising several of the other nations, "You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports,"

"In shiny shirts and tiny shorts!" Everyone finished the line, as Germany facepalmed. They continued, "Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They both say things like 'ciao bella' while they kiss you on both cheeks."

Romano rolled his eyes, "Oh please."

The group continued, as Germany finally just gave up and slammed his head on the table, "Gay or European? So many shades of gray."

England shot a glare at France, "Depending on the time of day, the French go either way."

"I did not cheat on you!" France exclaimed, before everyone continued the song.

"Is he gay or European? or-"

Then, China butted in, surprising everyone again, "There! Right There! Look at that condescending smirk. Seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro hetero jerk. That guy's not gay, I say no way!"

"That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to presume, that a hottie in that costume is..." Everyone continued, before four different nations started the next bit.

Belgium started, "Automatically-radically..."

America continued, "Ironically chronically..."

France butted in, "Certainly pertin'tly..."

Prussia sang too, "Genetically medically..."

Everyone shouted loudly, "GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY—"

Hungary booped Germany's nose, making him look up at her, and get immediately shocked and flustered due to how close their faces were.

"DAMNIT!" Everyone finished.

"Gay or European?"

"So stylish and relaxed." Poland said.

"Gay or European?"

Lithuania butted in this time, "I think his chest is waxed."

America began another part, "But they bring their boys up different there. It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse..."

Everyone finished it, "If he wears a kilt or bears a purse! Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code."

Canada pitched in, surprising those around him. "Yes his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy toed."

Everyone continued, "Huh. Gay or European? So many shades of gray."

Taiwan joking commented, "But if he turns out straight, I'm free at eight on Saturday!"

"Is he gay or European? gay or european? Gay or Euro—"

Canada interrupted in a surprisingly loud voice, leaning on the table in front of Germany, "Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try."

Prussia looked shocked, but replied, "The floor is yours."

Canada looked into Germany's eyes. The room quieted, "So Mr. Beilschmidt... This alleged affair with Ms. Arlovskaya has been going on for...?"

Belarus glared at him at the mention of her name.

Germany looked more confused. "What?"

"And your first name again is...?" Canada asked, ignoring the question.

"Ludwig...?" Germany replied, now extremely confused.

"And your boyfriend's name is...?" Canada asked, smirking.

"Feliciano..?" Germany replied on instinct.

Silence.

"W-Wait! You said boyfriend, I thought you said best friend! Feli is my best friend!" Germany exclaimed, trying to correct himself.

Italy slammed his fist down on the table, stood up, and shouted, shocking Germany, "You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it! I'm not covering for you anymore! Everyone! I have a big announcement!" He shouted in mock anger.

"THIS MAN IS GAY AND EUROPEAN! And neither is a disgrace! You've got to stop! you're being a complete closet case! It's me not her he's seeing! No matter what he says. I swear he never ever ever swings the other way." Italy shouted, before continuing, "You are so gay! You big parfait! You flaming boy band cabaret!"

Germany looked around, "I'm straight!"

Italy draped himself over Germany's shoulders. "You weren't yesterday."

Germany blushed madly.

"So if I may, I'm proud to say, He's gay!"

"And European!"

"He's gay!"

"And European!"

"He's gay!"

"And European and Gay!"

Germany rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine. I'm gay."

Everyone in the room smiled, "HOORAY!"

Italy grabbed Germany and kissed him, Romano started yelling at them in Italian, America and Prussia high-fived, and most people in the room laughed.

And then Switzerland walked in. With a gun and a very angry expression in his face.

America noticed this, and shouted.

"SCATTER!"


End file.
